FNE & Playing

Yes FNE. A great feeling. Playing! I remember doing all the things I used to avoid before. I was in Moscow networking and under survival pressure. I had no external-authority to tell me what to do/not to do! I had taken on 100%-total-self-responsibility and things were beginning to move and at night I found myself thinking about how to improve the process.
I started to change bits/pieces and observed carefully the results. Were they better or worse? Then change again … and watch … and change again … this gradually became my continuous modus-operandi.
It was all becoming very exciting and I knew I was creating values. I was happy and each day I waited to see new results and the way things began to turn; it was magic!
I was changing and doing things I never thought I could. It was as if chains of years that bound me were slowly melting away. The feeling of exhilaration I can’t express in words; it is an emotion that can only be felt and not expressed in words!
Remember when we were about 6/7 years old you had a dream? We all did. The world was great. Everything was exciting! We were going to do great things for people and ourselves. We were passionate! We used to wake up early in the mornings full of excitement and energy. Our parents were pissed off as they wanted to sleep. Life was so beautiful, so exhilarating, we wanted to inject ourselves into life and take all from it. Feel it. The very act of living was vibrant! Where did all that go?